Everything We Had
by ExtraordinarySoul
Summary: Alice and Spencer were best friends when they were 16, until 'the incident' that tore them apart. Now they are about to meet for the first time in years. And realize what they never did before.
1. The Only Face I'd Ever Known

This story is slightly different than the others I have written. Music is a huge part of my life, and sometimes I hear songs that just beckon to become stories. So, being on a Criminal Minds high as of late, I penned this tale about Spencer Reid (my fave!). I encourage you guys to check out the song, it is quite amazing. Happy reading!

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_"You were the only face I'd ever known_

_I was the light from the lamp on the floor_

_Only as bright as you wanted me to be."_

_-"_**Everything We Had", The Academy Is**

My mind is wandering away as the subway train pulls from the station and races down the tracks. I grip the cold pole so I don't fall with the sudden speed. Strangers keep watching me; I can feel their gazes. I wish I could disappear.

Disappear like he did.

That stupid song has been playing in my head for the past month. I don't understand why. I used to listen to it when I was a lot younger, before I came to this city. I stopped listening to it because it made me sad.

Because it made me think of what I did to him.

Better yet, what I didn't do.

The subway train stops at the station. More people get on, more people get off. I don't move; my feet are planted to the hollow floor. I am not to arrive for at least a couple minutes, so I let my thoughts wander…and the memories come flowing back.


	2. The Light From The Lamp On The Floor

"Don't forget your lunch!"

"I know, mom!" I grunted, my sixteen-year-old hands snatching my brown lunch bag off the table and shoving it into my messenger bag. I kissed her on the cheek before lacing my shoes and heading out the door.

The bus flew down the street and I groaned. Great, I missed the damn thing again, I thought miserably. Looks like I'm walking.

I started the walk. It was a nice fall day outside, not too cold or too warm. That was just how I liked it. I put on my headphones and began to sway my head as I walked down the suburban streets on my route.

I couldn't have been walking for more than ten minutes when I passed what the neighbourhood called 'The Crazy House.' It was local legend that an insane woman lived there, and that anyone who went in would never come out. Supposedly, she locked them in a cage in her basement. I was always told to stray away from it.

Just then, I heard screaming. I stopped, looking up and seeing the front door of the old house swing open. A boy was pushed out.

A strained, screechy female voice screamed after him, "…and don't you ever come back!"

The door slammed and he was left on the front lawn in front of me. I blinked at him. He couldn't have been much older than me, but I had never seen him before. Light brown hair, and deep eyes. A worn old sweater and pants that were much too big for him marked his fashion sense. When he turned around I saw a bruise on his right cheek, looking fresh.

"You ok?"

The boy jumped. He scrambled to his feet and began to stutter, "Y-yeah…s-sorry you had to, um, see that…"

The guys I knew were cocky and rude, always sure of themselves and downright stuck-up. Not this one. He was shy and quiet. I could tell just by looking at him that he was different.

"I'm Alice." I offered him my hand. He stared at it for a moment, and then he hesitantly shook it, letting go immediately afterward.

"S-Spencer. Spencer Reid."

"You live here, Spencer?"

"Yeah, sorta…"

"How old are you?"

"Sixteen."

"Cool. Me too."

He looked down at the ground and mumbled, "Well, I guess I've wasted enough of your time…you probably have to get to school, so I'll let you go now."

I shrugged, "Nah, I can wait. Go grab your stuff. We can walk together."

Spencer frowned at me, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, we can both walk to school together. I don't mind."

Spencer's cheeks flushed pink, "Oh, um, I don't go to school…"

"Sorry," I held up my hands, "I forget we had two high schools around here."

"No, I mean…I don't attend school. I'm done."

"Done? What do you mean, 'done'? Like, you quit?"

"Not exactly."

"Explain please."

"I've already graduated."

My mouth dropped open, "But you said you were sixteen."

"I am."

"And you already graduated? Just recently?"

"Actually, when I was twelve."

"TWELVE?"

Now he was turning bright red. He bit his lip nervously and backed away from me, "I'm sorry, I should go."

"Where? Back into that place?"

"It IS my house."

I grabbed his hand, "You're coming with me. I won't let you go back in there."

He seemed to flinch as I took his hand and brought him down the sidewalk with me. I didn't care if I was scaring him. Whoever was in that house was hurting him. And even though I had no idea who the hell this Spencer Reid kid was, I was not going to let that happen again.

"So, what kind of music do you listen to?" I asked him.

He shrugged, "I don't usually listen to music."

"Ok then. How about television?"

"Not really my interest, either."

I sighed, "What DO you like?"

Spencer gave me a weak smile, "I like reading."

"Really?" I frowned at him, "I don't know any guys who read."

"Well, I do," he continued, "I just finished 'Great Expectations' by Charles Dickens. It's great."

"Charles Dickens? He wrote 'Cinderella', right?"

"No, you're thinking of Hans Christian Anderson. But good guess."

We continued to talk as though we'd been friends our entire lives. It turned out Spencer was a genius, literally. He'd graduated from school early and was hoping to become a doctor. I was fascinated by him. He was charming, interesting, and above all, kind. I liked that.

I must admit I was kind of sad when I saw my school coming up on the next block. It was fun talking to a guy who had something to say. Even better, he was interested in what I had to say, too.

"This is your stop." Spencer said, sounding a little sad.

"Yeah," I gave him a tiny sad smile, "It was great talking to you today."

"Who the hell are you?"

I recognized the gruff, jock voice and I turned around. My boyfriend, Lars, stood there, looking slightly angry. Lars was tall and buff, the captain of the football team, and was known to have a jealous streak in him. I saw him glare at Spencer, who hunched his shoulders and backed away.

"Lars, this is my friend Spencer Reid," I explained calmly, "I just met him this morning."

Spencer swallowed and went to extend his hand to Lars, who spat on it.

I shoved him, "LARS!" 

"Stay away from my girlfriend, you little freak," Lars said with a threatening tone, "Or I'll punch your face in."

"Lars, stop it!" I shouted at him, "He's my friend, ok? Back off already."

Lars said nothing but continued to shoot menacing looks at Spencer.

"Just go, I'll meet you in homeroom," I said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, "Bye." Thankfully, that made him leave for school.

"I'd better go," Spencer said quickly as soon as Lars was out of earshot, "It was nice meeting you, Alice."

I grabbed his arm, "Wait."

He looked taken aback. I softened my tone, "Come here after school, around 3:30. You can walk me home."

A genuine smile spread over his face, "Ok, I'll be here."


	3. I Do Regret More Than I Admit

_But I am no gentlemen_

_I can be a prick_

_And I do regret more than I admit_

Tears were flowing down my cheeks as Spencer handed me the Kleenex box. I took what seemed like my hundredth tissue. I pulled my knees to my chest and sniffed.

"I hate him," I said angrily, "I hate him so much."

"I know, Alice," Spencer said consolingly, "He's such a jerk."

Lars had been cheating me on with two girls. Cheerleaders, of course. As Spencer said, 'the easiest and the sleaziest.' It was him I had told before anyone else, and he was the one comforting me at that moment.

Over the past few months Spencer Reid had become my best friend. He walked me to and from school and helped me study. I took him everywhere with me on the weekends and sort of became more distant from my other friends. Not that I minded. It was nice to be around someone who cared about more than just cell phones and being popular.

"He wasn't very nice anyway," I said, curling up on the blanket we'd spread out, "I didn't like how he treated you."

"Most people are like that towards me," Spencer said quietly, "I'm used to it. He was no different."

Spencer had been an outcast almost his entire life. Being intelligent came with a price, he'd told me. Kids picked on him and called him names all the time. He was thankful he'd graduated early and not had to endure it longer.

"Yeah, I know," I said, reaching for his hand, lacing mine with it, "I'm sorry."

"You don't need to be sorry," Spencer told me, "It wasn't your fault."

I sighed, "I know, I just…I don't know. I wish I could figure out what I did wrong."

"Aly, you did nothing wrong. He was just the type of guy who saw quantity instead of quality. If he was too stupid to see all the amazing things you are, then he doesn't deserve you."

I smiled, "Thanks. Spencer?"

"Yes?"

"Tell me about the constellations."

"Ok."

Spencer still held my hand as he began to explain to me all the different constellations in the sky. I loved how scientific he spoke. It was calming to me. Of course, I eventually fell asleep to sound of him talking about the Big Dipper, but that didn't matter. I was with the one person who had saved me from everything.

If only I could've saved him.


	4. You Have Been Followed

_You have been followed_

_Back to the same place I sat with you_

_Drink, for drink_

_Take the pain out of love and then love won't exist_

"About time you bounced back, Alice," Nikki said as I walked into the gym, "We thought we'd have to hire a new Student Council Rep."

"Prom's gonna be amazing," Kayla added, "Just wait until we put these decorations up."

I was back with my old friends again. Kayla and Nikki had been calling me a lot, asking about me, wanting me to help for Prom. I'd decided to bounce back and help out. After all, I kinda did miss hanging out with them. I had spent so much time with Spencer I'd forgotten.

"Ok, so I'm thinking we put the streamers at the top and have them draping down along the stage," Nikki suggested, "Alice? What do you think?"

"Yeah…I've got a few ideas."

A good two hours later and we had finished. The gym looked spectacular. I stood back and admired it, unable to believe how well we did. The Prom really was going to be amazing.

"…and then we finished putting up the disco ball, and it looked perfect," I told Spencer later as we walked back to my house, later that night, "It looks great."

"I'm happy for you," Spencer told me, "Sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun. Who are you going with?"

I paused. Who was I going to the Prom with? No one. Absolutely no one. I didn't have a date and it was the next night. I hadn't even thought of it.

"I'm not going with anyone." I replied.

Spencer bit the bottom of his lip nervously, "So…umm…would you want to go with me?"

Just as I was about to answer, someone yelled, "Hey!"

We turned around and saw Lars and his gang. Big thugs smelling of alcohol and smelly gym clothes. They were wearing toques and sweaters; nearly concealed in the dark. I grabbed Spencer's hand.

"Lars," I said, trying to sound tough, "What do you want?"

"Get away from her, you little pipsqueak," Lars slurred, heading for Spencer, "Baby, you're lucky we got here in time."

"He's not hurting me, Lars, I'm fine!" I protested.

"You know who's kid he is, right?" Lars continued, "That crazy woman down the street. She was a stripper who got pregnant and had her kid local."

"That's not true!" Spencer objected.

"Shut up!" Lars hit him hard across the face.

"Stop it!" I begged him.

Lars turned to me as his friends grabbed a hold of Spencer, "Did he tell you that his mama's a psycho? Huh? Did he tell you that? This kid's more than just a little freak with a big brain. He's got a broken brain, Aly, and he's going to try and mess with yours."

"No he isn't!"

I watched helplessly as they began to kick and punch Spencer over and over. He fell to the ground and curled up into a ball. Lars took a cigarette from his pocket, lit it up and burned Spencer's arm. He screamed. Lars continued and delivered hit after hit. It was all in slow motion for me. I was frozen on the spot, unable to believe what I was seeing. It was so unreal.

When they finished, I was in tears. Through my blurred vision, I watched him struggle to stand as they filed away, laughing into the night. He looked at me, pure hurt in his eyes.

And then he ran away.


	5. Saw For Yourself The Way It Played Out

_Everything we had_

_Is no longer there_

_Well you saw for yourself_

_The way it played out_

I didn't go to school the next day; instead I pretended I was sick. All I could do was stay in bed crying. The scene replayed itself over and over in my head; the look on his face as he got up to run away. I felt as though I was the one on the ground being beaten.

That night, my mom announced we were moving. To a different city. I couldn't speak; I didn't know what to say. I wanted to see Spencer desperately, but I was too ashamed. I couldn't tell him we were leaving. I never got the chance to say goodbye.

All I could remember was looking out the window as we passed his house, wondering

what was going on inside, hoping to God that somehow, that extraordinary boy was alright.


	6. For You, I Am Blinded

_For you, I am blinded_

_For you, I am blinded_

_For you_

I am finally at my stop. I get off the subway, still feeling as though I am half asleep. Leaving the station, I try to remember the address. I reach into my purse and pull it out. Luckily, I am already almost there.

The BAU is a division of the FBI, and I am here for questioning. I have been a witness at a crime in a grocery store. Nothing much, just seeing someone get shot. A little gross, if anything.

Two agents escort me once I register that I have arrived. One tells me he is Agent Morgan. The other is rather stern and I don't catch his name. Not that I really care.

They take me to a closed room for questioning. Morgan pulls up a chair for me. I thank him and he says, "Dr. Reid will be with you in a second. Please wait."

Dr. Reid.

That's ironic.

It couldn't be…could it?

Sure enough, a tall, handsome, skinny young man walks in, closing the door behind them. His hair has grown just below his eyes, tucked behind them. Glasses hang in his front pocket, a worn sweater on his shoulders. He puts down a file on the cold desk and sits down.

"Right then," he begins, still not looking at me, "Thursday night, Grant Harper was killed in the middle of a grocery store by a man wearing a dark toque and carrying $50,000 worth of stolen goods. You know about this?"

"Of course I do, Spencer."

He stops looking at the file. His eyes widen. He looks…scared.

"Alice."

"Spencer."

Immediately, he becomes defensive, "You are to call me Dr. Reid."

"So you did become a doctor. I knew you would."

He stands up. So do I.

His phone goes off, "Reid? You need us to come in?"

Reid seems to glare at the phone, "No, I can handle it."

His eyes come back to me. I look into them. They seem empty.

"I am going to question you, Ms. Cleeland," he says with an affirmative tone, "Any resistance will result-"

I blurt it out, "I didn't leave on purpose."

"What?"

"I said, I didn't leave on purpose," I say quickly, "It was my parents. My dad got transferred to a different plant and we had to move. I never got the chance to say good-bye, because…"

"Because you let your friends beat me up."

I feel tears in my eyes, "S-spencer, I didn't mean…"

He rolls up his sleeve and shows me a scar. It is the scar of a cigarette butt that burned him years ago. The same scar I watched Lars give him.

"Some scars are visible, some are not."

"Please don't play mind games with me, Spencer," I beg him, "I don't like it."

"Do you think I liked it when you betrayed me like you did?" Spencer continues, "Do you believe I just brushed it off as nothing and went on my way? Well, here's news for you, Prom Queen…I didn't. You were my only friend. Without you, I had no one else. Except for my mother."

"I know."

"No, I don't think you do. Adolescents like me don't forget people like you."

"Quit judging me!" I yell at him, "I know what I did was wrong, ok? Just because you have a P.H.D. in, I don't know, everything, doesn't give you the right to tell me what I'm thinking. Maybe being a genius does give you certain advantages, but it doesn't mean you can know everything all the time."

We both grow quiet. I notice he is staring at the floor like he used to when we were growing up. He always did this whenever he was at a loss for words, or nervous.

"I was in love with you, Alice Cleeland." He says under his breath, barely audible to me.

Tears stream down my face. I cannot look at him anymore. I don't want to deal with this; don't want to remember everything we had and everything we never will. No more mistakes; I am done.

I draw in a breath, "The truth is, Dr. Reid, I don't even know who that Grant guy was. All I saw was someone getting shot in the dairy section and then I ran out of the store. The police were there shortly after. I didn't see the shooter, all I saw was the victim getting shot in the back of the head." I stand up. "There, you have your information. I'm done."

"We're going to need your contact number." Dr. Reid says, trying to sound professional.

I reach into my purse and slap down my business card, "There. Have a nice day."

I walk out, escorted by two FBI agents. I talk to them briefly, and then they say I am free to go. I am no longer useful to them. I am not longer useful to anyone.

As I walk outside, I glance over my shoulder. I can see him looking down at me from the window. I do not bother acknowledging him. Spencer Reid is no longer in my life.

And it hurts like hell.


	7. Wherever You Go

NOTE: This is told from Reid's POV.

_It was the only place I'd ever known_

_Turned off the light on the way out the door_

_I will be watching wherever you go_

_Through the eyes of a fly on the wall_

"You alright?" Morgan asks me.

"Yeah, just a girl from my high school years."

"Didn't you graduate when you were twelve?"

"I did. I just knew her from…other things."

Morgan's phone goes off. He chats for a bit and then closes it, heading for the door.

"Alright, buddy, if you need anything, let me know."

"Sure, thanks."

I look out the window and watch Alice walk across the street. My eyes seem to water. Funny, I haven't cried in years. Not since the day she moved.

She hasn't changed; she's still beautiful. I wish I could've told her that years ago when I had the chance. I wish I could've told her how I felt about her. I wish for so many things, but I know it is trivial to even bother dwelling on these sad thoughts.

It is time to write my letter to my mother. I don't know what to say. Likely, the same thing I always do. Lies about how happy things are with me in my life. I am certain she wants me to be married by now. I could lie about that if I wanted to. But I won't.

Instead, I know exactly what to write. I take the pen in my hand and sit down at the desk. The paper is crisp and ready, and my mind is fresh.

_Dear Mom,_

_Today, an old friend came back into my life. Tomorrow, she will be something more._

_Your son,_

_Spencer Reid_

I stand up, grab the business card and head out the door.

This time, I am not lying.

_I'll be with you wherever you go_

_Through the eyes of a fly on the wall_


End file.
